The past few weeks I’ve been conducting a research project on young Newari women’s views of marriage and my research has led to many unexpected opportunities to attend wedding parities, hang out at fun spots in Kathmandu, meet Newari women and their families, get dressed up in saris, and have motor bike lessons. Overall I’ve gotten to see Kathmandu in a way that’s totally changed by experience here. Meeting young Newari women my age has allowed me to see Kathmandu from a local young person’s perspective. These women were more than willing to take me out to their favorite teashops and restaurants and invite me to gatherings with their friends.
One of my favorite nights began with a motorbike lesson. My brother’s friends, who were helping me meet young Newari women to interview, offered to teach me how to drive a motorbike. We rode out to an empty field near the airport and I had my first lesson on how to drive a scooter. I initially wanted to learn how to ride a bike but they convinced me to start with the scooter in case I pulled anything crazy. Turns out driving a scooter is harder than it looks, at least for me. After a while I got the hang on it and drove around in figure eights until the sun set and I could no longer see where I was going. At one point an airplane took off right above our heads and I slammed on the breaks, shocked at how close the plane was to us. Turns out we were right at the end of a runway.
Not quite ready to navigate my way around on a bike, I let my daai’s friends take over the bike again and we headed out to get some tea. There’s a stupa here called Swayambhunath, also known as the monkey temple, that is known for being beautifully lit up at night. We headed over to temple, which has a spectacular view of the city, and climbed the many stairs to reach the stupa. It happened to be a perfect night to be there, with a full moon lighting up the sky. We still had a few hours til my curfew, (which is 9 here by the way, it’s not safe for girls to be out late at night…) so we headed back across the city to Durbar Square for some more tea drinking before heading home.
My adventures continued with two wedding parties two nights in a row and an engagement the following day. This meant wearing a sari three days in a row, which is actually quite a hassle. Since I still have not mastered the art of putting on a sari, my aamaa would have to dress me every day. Not only do my nepali parents prepare all my meals for me and give me a 9 pm curfew but now my aamaa was dressing me on a regular basis. I’ve actually regressed to being a twelve year old.
The wedding parties lived up to the hype—Nepalis know how to throw a party. One of the parties was outside at a very classy hotel and everyone was dressed to impress. Nepalis, unlike many Americans, aren’t afraid of wearing color. There were saris of every hue imaginable, most decorated with glittering sequins and jewels. The party was similar to the other wedding party I’d previously attended in that the bride sat at the front on a throne like couch/chair where all the guest come to see her and give her presents. The groom, however, wasn’t present. Apparently it is Newari tradition for women to have their own party before the actual ceremony. The only thing that struck me as odd was that the dance party was taking place in the bottom of a drained pool. I had to do a double take when I first saw that dance floor. It was a sunken dance floor, yes a bit odd, but when I looked closer I saw depth markings on the side. People were indeed dancing in a pool. After a few beers my Nepali cousin convinced me to join them and I spent the majority of my time dancing around in my sari, constantly checking to make sure the giant sheet of cloth hadn’t fallen off my body. To top off my night, I rode home on a motorbike, side saddle in my sari. I have never felt so Nepali.
After submitting our final reports and presenting our ISPs, we headed to Dhulikhel again for our “re-entry” program, which is supposed to prepare us for the reverse culture shock we will go through upon return to the US. It was sad realizing that these were some of the last days we’d all be spending together in Nepal but the location couldn’t have been more ideal for our programs wrap up. We sat in the sun looking out at the himals and terraced rice fields sipping chiyaa and eating daalbhaat. That night we watched the sun set over the himals. It was one of the most spectacular sunsets I’ve ever seen.
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